So 10 years later...

So we shared a weekend of absolutely blessed moments...just being together.

The Gift

It has been almost 10 years since my brothers, my sister and I got together with my parents and we have never been together with our kids...

In 1999 I moved back to the US, my brothers and sister quickly followed. Since 1989 when we moved back to Colombia my father had never returned, he was allergic to the country somehow and avoided all our efforts to get him up here. Then since miracles do happen, all of a sudden a few months back he decided it was time to return, to be part of his kids' daily adult lives and enjoy his growing grandkids. He arrived last Friday to Miami, tomorrow he's arriving in DC, along with Carlos and Sophie. We have a busy weekend ahead of us, Kokelita is inviting us for dinner at her place tomorrow night, Saturday noon is Simone's birthday party, Saturday night a barbecue at Ivan's......72 hours of none stop togetherness!!! Monday morning Carlos and Sophie are heading back to Miami since Sophie is flying to Bogota Tuesday. It will be such a joy to be together and share, last time, only Maria Jose was around, and the rest of us were still single. We were really just kids.

This is a lesson, of the gift of each moment that is presented to us. Had we known last time we were all together that it would be almost 10 years before we got to spend such a blessed moment, maybe, just maybe we would have lived it differently...maybe appreciated much more the Gift we were living. And that is a lesson in so many moments in our lives, the last kiss, the last conversation, the last hug...

The day I finally left my ex-husband, we had a really good morning. We talked, had a yummy lunch and hugged to and from the car...then a whole lot happened I left and it was over, forever. And I always wondered if I had known that those moments were our very last would we have lived them differently? Will we ever sit and chat and share a meal like friends...do we ever get back moments we took for granted? I don't know...I do know that this weekend I will savor each second and take lots of pictures and remember old road trips and old jokes and just be happy to share with my family.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

So tomorrow you will be turning 6! Wow, that is a big number and what a journey it has been... Lately we have been fighting a lot, maybe because we are together everyday or because you are more your own person now and then again just a kid. Your dad & I tend to forget sometimes because you are wise beyond your years. You shine wherever you go, you make everyone around you fall in love. You are adored by your family. You are so very sweet and loving. You are my little companion in life, walking hand in hand everyday.

You are now sleeping late, swimming a whole lot, in love with the Disney Channel, changing schools for the fall, reading a little bit on your own, about to lose your first 2 teeth and very afraid of losing your teeth, you have traveled on your own many times already and make friends with the whole plane, you are fascinated with everything Asian and want to celebrate your next birthday in China, you can say Hello in 7 languages, you love to dance, you love makeup, you love to wash your hair, you want your own laptop, you still suck your thumb and use a satin blankie to sleep, you talk and talk and talk, you are very confident and can start a conversation with just about anyone, you are brave, you love movies, you love Colombia, feel Colombian and would love to live there, you love being my baby and having me take care of you, you love to cry for just about any reason, you are friends with all our neighbors, you love to dance, you love to draw and paint and do crafts, you are very fluent in English and Spanish, you love clothes, shopping and purses, you want to travel the world, you are simply magnificent.

Tonight is like 6 years ago, a sleepless night. I was 195lbs and nights were endless...you were quite comfortable inside my tummy and had no desire to come out. We were told that if nothing happened the birth would be induced Friday morning (Yehh, this is the first year your birthday falls on the day you were born). So we were just waiting, so excited to know you would be coming home soon. The day of your birth, we were scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 6 am. Daddy was working at a bar and came home at about 4:30 am with some 30 balloons, of every color of the rainbow, for me...for Us. It was so sweet and surprising... Your birth was rather quick, you came out squinting your eyes just looking at me. I was crying as you were looking at me like "hi Mom". You were so tiny that when I picked you up you would not reach my belly button and I always wondered for how long I would be able to carry you. I am proud to say I still can, even with one arm and with you weighing a bit over 50lbs. Sad to say though I am getting close to my limit, you are densely built... but then again moms get this super natural strength that sustain us through the greatest of challenges or help us pick our child as if they were still babies.

Many people say you are the way you are because of the way I have raised you...maybe so but I truly think I can't take all the credit. A lot of it is you, you are an old soul in a little girl's body. I believe we pick our parents to guide us on the journey of our lives. Somehow you looked down and picked me and for this I really just have to say Thank You. You have brighten my life more then I could have imagined, you have allowed me to overcome many fears, you teach me so much everyday with your wisdom. You are my biggest blessing and raising you is my masterpiece.

Happy Birthday mi Nena Hermosa. I love you.

A Sweet Fight b/w my Boy & my Girl....

believing...

So I am at a cross road, back to a place where I have been before but experiencing it in completely different terms this time around. I decided a couple of weeks back that if the circumstances don't change, or do but continue to return then I am the one that has to change and maybe just then will true TRANSFORMATION come to be.

So I have...I am at peace, in constant prayer in my heart. So at peace that last night I wondered if I was in denial. I decided that I am not, I am committed although not attached to the outcome. What will be will be...all I ask is for continued growth, a million opportunities, lot's of ideas, creativity, prosperity, time for Simone and I and the chance to make a difference however small. That all that may be only the beginning of something much larger. This time around I truly BELIEVE.

Coming Home!

So in less than 10 hours you will be home! It had been quite a while since we had been apart for so long and I miss you so. Sometimes I worry because Dad is the fun parent, he doesn't have to do the daily raising but the fun vacation, let's go shopping times. I sometimes worry that in your mind I will be everything but fun but 2 nights ago you said "Mami ya quiero estar en nuestra casita" and my heart smiled because in these past 3 years we have become a team. It is always the 2 of us, everyday and we have other people we love and like sharing with but "you and I", we are home.

On the other hand this time has bee really interesting because you really had a wonderful chance to be part of your dad's family. My family has always been a stronger presence and always around. These 2 weeks were really a chance for you to feel complete with your relationship with your dad and his world.

I just finished fixing your room, having everything ready for your welcome home. I am so happy to have you back, it is summer and there is so much to do together!